|Don't Let Worry Kill You
The following are reported to be actual announcements taken from various church bulletins. They have been around for a while, but they're still enjoyable:
* Thursday night -- potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First xxx Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
* The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
* During the absence of our preacher, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
* Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
* Preacher is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
* Church Rummage Sale: A good opportunity to get rid of anything not worth keeping but too good to throw away. Bring your husband.
* The outreach committee has enlisted 25 members to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
* Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help.
Putting out a church bulletin, I know how easy it is to slip up and misprint a word or word something in a "less than desirable" way. But the church can help (overcome worry, not kill you). More specifically, Jesus Christ can help you deal with worry. He had this to say on the subject during his Sermon on the Mount:
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?.....So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" (Matthew 6:25-26,28-30)
Sometimes, when we get so concerned about everything that seems to be going wrong in our lives, we need a gentle reminder that our heavenly Father is watching out for us. May this message serve as that reminder.
Have a great day!
Boone Church of Christ